So you're looking to make a career change...
Aug. 16, 2022

QUICK BITE - What will you regret when you die?

QUICK BITE - What will you regret when you die?

Imagine getting a call from an elderly person who says:

"I am future you, currently lying on my death bed, and I want to share all the regrets you're going to have in your life, so that you don't make the same mistakes."

What do you think you'll most likely regret at the end of your life?


We can't talk to our future selves, but in this episode, you can get the next best thing.


>> WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

  1. What are the five most common things people regret at the end of their life.
  2. How to avoid making the same mistakes in your own life and career.
  3. What steps you can take today towards escaping the nine to five.


>> JOIN OUR COMMUNITY:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/escapetheninetofivepod


>> TAKE HOME CHALLENGE: SUCCESS JOURNAL

Write down at least a one positive experience or success from today. It doesn't have to be anything amazing, even something as simple as sharing a joke with a colleague or opening a door for a stranger.

If you're anything like me, you might come from an upbringing where only the big successes are celebrated. By acknowledging the small successes, it will literally re-wire your brain to think more positively. Keep it by your bedside table (somewhere you won't forget). It's a daily habit that will literally take you 30 seconds each day.


Podcast genre: career change, career transition, work life balance, great resignation.

 

Podcast also known as: escape the 9 to 5

Transcript
Steve:

Imagine getting a call from an elderly person who says I am future you currently lying on my death bed, and I want to share all the regrets you're going to have in your life so that you don't make the same mistakes. What do you think you'll most likely regret at the end of your life? We can't talk to our future selves, but in this episode, you can get the next best thing You're here because you're not entirely happy in your nine to five job. You know, there's gotta be a better way of doing things. Even if your job is not strictly 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM. You're following a schedule created by someone else doing a job description that doesn't match who you are as a person and leading in life that will eventually lead to regret Research has shown the most common regrets in life are not things we have done, it's what we haven't done. So what are you likely to regret last time? Nigel marsh mentioned about Brawny where's book, the five regrets of the dine. After some feedback from you guys, there was a request for some short episodes. So in season two, I'm introducing quick bite episodes where I'll share some useful info to help you on your career journey. There was also multiple requests to hear more of my story. And I'll dedicate a few quick bite episodes to sharing how I got here and how it will be irrelevant to you and your career change in this quick body episode, you'll learn what are the five most common things, people regret? At the end of the year? How to avoid making the same mistakes in your own life and what steps you can take today towards escaping the nine to five. So you don't stay in a job. You'll later regret, Bronnie ware worked as a palliative nurse without a li patients her patients were ones that had gone home to die. In what was always there last few weeks of life, each person understandably experienced a wide variety of emotions as expected, denial, fear. Anger remorse, acceptance, and there was always regret for years, patients shared with her a grits that had in their lives.. What probably doesn't come as a surprise to you is that there were common themes. So common. In fact, that Brawny wrote a famous blog post and later book about the five most common reasons. Of the dying What were they? Number one. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself. Not the life others expected of me. This is the most common regret of all looking back on your life and realizing how many of your dreams have gone unfulfilled, knowing that choices you've made meant your dreams were left, forgotten these ideal related regrets, like settling for a stable career, instead of following a passion, marrying a safe partner, instead of pursuing someone you truly love. Never opening a business or traveling around the world were more painful than regrets about not living up to responsibilities. Number two, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Every single man. She nursed had this regret. especially having missed seeing their kids growing up, bearing in mind, her patients were from a generation where most women were. I can almost guarantee an our generation more women will reach the end of their lives. Having this regret. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Number three, I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. How often have used the pressed your feelings to avoid an uncomfortable conversation or. A number of patients, she saw developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment. They carried as a result of not expressing their feelings. The most obvious and painful one is estrangement. Usually with family members as a result of a breakdown in your relationship where neither person is willing to accept they're wrong. Then later down the line, both people probably hoping to reconnect, but neither having the guts to express their feelings. Another example is difficult conversations at work. Even though of people who've stayed in jobs a year or two longer than they'd wanted to, just to avoid the briefly uncomfortable conversation with their manager, telling them they want to quit. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Number four. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Many had become so caught up in their own lives, that they had lit great friendships slipped by over the. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships, the time and effort they deserved. How many of your good friends from school and college have you lost touch with number five. The final common regret. I wish I had let myself be happier. this is probably the most surprising one. How many people did not realize until the end of their life. That happiness is a choice. Fear of change. Had them pretending to others, enter their selves, that they were connected. When deep down they really want it to be able to have more of a laugh and be silly with friends and family So now, you know, what are the likely regrets you'll have in your life? How do you avoid making the same mistakes yourself and ensure you don't end your life full of regret one. How do you live a life true to yourself? A study showed people tend to put off action to realize their dreams leading to a slowly accumulating disappointment. Shai Davidai, psychology professor and the lead author of the study said when it comes to our ideal related regrets, we let them linger a year goes by we don't do anything. Two, three, TWENTY years go by and that small increments of negative builds up to a big feeling of regret. When unfortunately a lot of times it's too late to actually do something." Do you want to know what he found stopped us from living a life true to ourselves? Fear of change. His advice. Don't wait for inspiration. Something you'll find is a common theme in this podcast. Take small steps each and every day towards whatever it is you want to achieve and living a life true to yourself. It is also recommended you don't worry what others think and make choices based on what your older self would think in the finale of season one, we talk about fear setting. I won't repeat it here, but essentially you need to write down your fears realized the worst case scenario. Usually isn't that bad. Embrace the fear and do it anyway. Too? How do you avoid the trap of working too hard? We talked about this last week with Nigel marsh. Find your own. Work-life better. Don't work the nine to five or more like eight to six, because that's what society tells you is the right amount of time to work. Do what works for you. Brian Robinson, a psychotherapist and author also suggests a number of other tips to avoid overworking. Make sure you set boundaries, take breaks and avoid multitasking. Most importantly, block of time in your calendar for yourself. And your relationships. We are great at making our calendars look busy, but often forget to allow time for the things that really met her family, friends, hobbies, exercise, even meditation. Do what works for you? Three. How do you overcome discomfort and express your feelings at work and in life? Carl polymer, author of 30 lessons for living whose team interviewed 1500 people over the age of 65, about what haunts the most about their life choices, sees people hesitate to express their feelings, their advice. Don't wait. Say what's on your mind when the person is around. I believe this applies to both work and personal relationships. Often the thing you least want to do is the thing you most need. Express your feelings at the time, maybe allow for a small amount of time to collect your thoughts and to frame things from the other person's perspective. If this is an area you struggle with, I recommend reading crucial conversations tools for talking when the stakes are high for, is it realistic to keep in touch with old friends? This is a no-brainer. Unlike the older generation we're keeping in touch with genuinely hard. We don't have the same excuses. Social media makes keeping in touch so easy. I don't even need to provide research. It's so obvious friendships are important, but I'll share some anyway, the Harvard study involving following the lives of a group of Boston men, which has been going for over 80 years, shows that relationships have a powerful influence on our lives. Close relationships. More than money or fame or what keep people happy. Happy relationships are the best indicators of a long and happy life. More than social class IQ or even jeans. What's more loneliness kills. It's as powerful as smoking or being an alcoholic. Even if you've lost touch with a number of your close friends, it's never too late to rekindle a friendship. scroll down your Facebook or Instagram friends list and message. Two or three old friends you haven't heard from in awhile. Even if you haven't heard from them in a number of years, if you were once good friends, don't convince yourself messaging them would be. it's as simple as saying, Hey, I was just thinking back to the time where we did insert funny story. And I was wondering how you're getting on. It is not hard to stay in touch with old friends, even allowing just 30 minutes in your calendar each week to call or message a friend will be enough. So on the subject of friends, bringing you more happiness than fame or fortune, It brings us to avoiding the last of the most common five regrets of the dying. How do you let yourself be. I cringed a little but saying this, but happiness is a choice, shawn Achor, CEO of good thing, where he researches and teaches about positive psychology, she's a few ways you can let yourself be happier. Journaling, write down three things you're grateful for each and every day. And one positive experience from that day. Exercise teaching your brain, that your behavior matters and releases positive endorphins. Meditation allows your brain to live in the prison. And daily meditation has been shown to improve happiness by about 10% Random acts of kindness, send a message or email to one person every day to either say thank you or to acknowledge something good that I've done. Finally view challenges as opportunities. What is one challenge you have faced recently after identifying your challenge list three reasons why this challenge is an opportunity. I'll share a quote from rabbi Hyman chefs tell happiness is not about having what you want. It's about wanting what you have. It's all well and good learning what I've just shared, but what steps can you take today towards escaping the nine to five? So you don't stay in a job. You'll later regret. I'll give you a challenge from today's quick bite episode. This week's challenge. Create a success journal If you've listened to season one, right at the beginning, I strongly recommend starting and emotions journal. What I'd like you to do now is start a success journal. I keep it in the same notebook. Write down at least a one positive experience or success from today. It doesn't have to be anything amazing, even something as simple as sharing a joke with a colleague or opening a door for a stranger. If you're anything like me, you might come from an upbringing where only the big successes are celebrated by acknowledging the small successes. It will literally rewire your brain to think more positively. Keep it by your bedside table somewhere. You won't forget to do it. It's a daily habit that will literally take you 30 seconds. So this week create a success journal If you're currently thinking this is a bit woo, woo. And not in any way, helping me escape the nine to five, it's not an unfair assessment later in the season, we'll be identifying your strength at work. And part of this does come down to identifying your successes. When I regularly journaled my own successes at work, not only did it improve my mind. It helped me identify my strengths at work. Such as making connections with people, communicating and coming up with big picture futuristic ideas. I promise you journaling your successes at work. We'll help you in the long run. On today's theme of regret. I'm going to end with this quote. Fear is only temporary. Regret lasts forever Thanks for listening to the first of our quick bite episodes on escape, the nine to five. I'm hosting creator, Steve early. if you would like to learn from people already doing what you want to be. And discover how to avoid living a life of regret. Be sure to join our Facebook group escape, the nine to five podcast there you'll meet a group of like-minded professionals on their own journey out of a nine to five job this week we're specifically discussing ways you can live a life true to yourself to avoid having an old age filled with regret. A link to the Facebook group is in the show notes As Christine MCs and our very first episode. I can't imagine much worse than wishing you'd loved your life at different. Let's not live a life filled with regret.